Since falling pregnant my normal laid back approach to life has disappeared and my concerns for the future have surfaced. I often wonder if I am moulding into a stero type that generalises women as being worriers, needing a plan and the need to be sure about everything but then I realised that there is nothing wrong with my sudden change in thinking after all it’s not just about me now so inevitably I am going to up game and be the best I can.
Buried amongst this worry was something that was slowly eating away and making me act defensively against my partner, this non intentional outburst came from the strain of realising that my life will never quite be the same and in effect my relationship would never quite be the same, this was all rather hard to digest and even led to me frantically searching the Internet for answers “are men and women meant to stay together”
Again my google addiction took full responsibility for these unnnesesary doubts.
My relationship is a normal happy one we argue about silly things and we argue about big things, we go though phases of showing lots of affection and even times when we put the barriers up. Just normal relationship ups and downs, so I could sit here and worry myself about whether or not we are meant to be together and whether my child will have a stable up bringing but the fact is I will be all I can be and my partner will also be all he can be, there are no set rules and I guess that’s part of life’s gamble.
This afternoon was spent eating pecan pie and being goofy together, it’s a good day and I can only hope it’s one of many many more to come.