I have not posted here for quite some time now, partly due to reaching the final stages of my pregnancy has been somewhat hectic and overwhelming at times
I have taken time out at my parents house to enjoy some much needed rest and quality family time.
With anxiety shadowing my every thought, I am left emotionally drained and unable to find true meaning for this anxiety. I am sure it is a simple case of first time mum syndrome and eventually the excitement of my baby’s arrival will push my fears aside but for now I am trying to focus on taking things at a steady pace.
I am not sure if it is just me but being pregnant has tested my abilities in many ways, even socializing with non pregnant women has become a challenge
its almost as if I am only secure when talking about baby related matters,the dreaded breastfeeding panic and anticipating my sleepless nights. Who was I before I fell pregnant what did I talk about before ultra sounds, baby grows,muslin squares, breast pads and hospital bags this new language is taking over and slowly making my new role seem settled as if so normal that it has been this way forever.
Of course my excitement for baby still stands strong but I think this weekend I am going to have some friend time involving movies, gossip and catch ups these times seem vintage to me now so I will embrace them with open arms and try my hardest not to talk about my birth plans and pregnancy fears.