I am trapped inside a box, there are tiny holes where the light creates a tunnel.
We escape for a moment to breathe.
I felt a giant hand on my shoulder pressing down with force.
I breathe again noticing the rhythm of my heart slow down.
We found each other again.
Sometimes I don’t notice sounds, I don’t see colour and I can’t feel the tingle in my finger tips when the water is too cold.
I am blank as if I am waiting for something big to happen, an event or a tragedy. I might be waiting for happiness even if it is right in front of me I still wait.
Blinded by the unimportant things, the not so necessary events, I began to feel restless. I realised my boredom was created from wanting more rather than appreciating what was in front of me the whole time.
Perhaps we want everything too fast. I am happy to wait, happy to bathe in the quiet and focus on the smallest things.
I notice the way you look at me, the crinkles in my nose, the way my eyes narrow as I study you.
We are not distracted; not any more at least.
Like ghosts we haunt our previous life revisiting it as if it had been wrongly taken. As if someone snatched it away leaving us fractured somehow, broken in places.
But how about this: How about we focus on now rather than revisiting the past and wondering why things don’t always feel the same.
The innocence was not built for lasting. Young love was cornered until it served no use to us. We had outgrown our love but nothing prepared us for the new love, the one we soon found.
We don’t need more.
We are enough.
So when we walked through the lavender field and you made me do that smile, the one you said you recognised, the one you must have missed. I felt those giant hands again push down on my shoulders, the ones that make me relax and let go of all the stress.
Those hands belong to you.
I don’t need to wait any longer or stand still for things to happen, I have all I need right here and more.
This time I wont forget.
lavender may be useful for treating anxiety, insomnia, depression, and restlessness.
Beautiful Photography by my talented friend – Gemma Butterworth
Find her on Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/gemma_butterworth/
I can’t thank this lovely lady enough for the pictures she takes for me, she is one of a kind.